For Your Consideration
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
BF911
The BOYFRIEND 911, also known as The Emergency Boyfriend or EBF, is a vocation by single males from the age of 15-25, that caters the special needs of women at events that her attending boyfriend is not available. This vocation covers all of women's emergency boyfriend needs such as: Intensive emotional care, Instant complimenting service, Ego stretcher, Self-esteem resuscitation and revival, PARTYVAC which stands for Party Evacuation, Prospect psychoanalysis and evaluation, and Intensive listening and monitoring for your heart's activity.
Most of EBFs are applicants for the attending boyfriend position. Some EBFs have already been rejected for the position, but are still living on the premise that all professions, either romantic or medical, can be progressive granted that you do things right - and you don't get paid as much as the other guy.
All EBFs refer to this service as their vocation. They are bound by this unspoken oath.
THE BOYFRIEND 911 HIPPOCRATIC OATH*
I SWEAR in the presence of myself and no one else, that according to my ability and judgment, I will keep this Oath and Stipulation.
TO RECKON all who have taught me this art equally dear to me as my childhood hero and in the same spirit and dedication to impart a knowledge of the art of sacrifice to others. I will continue with diligence to keep abreast of other ways to admire at a distance. I will serve without exception for the girl who has my heart on a string, so long as the relationship with her and her attending boyfriend is not compromised thereby, and I will seek the counsel of other EBFs who have undergone the same situation before where indicated for her happiness and approval.
I WILL FOLLOW the method of sacrifice which according to my ability and judgment, considering her benefit and abstain from whatever is harmful or mischievous. I will neither perform nor try to do any acts that may bring her pain and dilemma, or any such thing that brings peril to her relationship with her attending boyfriend to show utmost respect for every relationship from first glance to breakups and reject coveting which deliberately takes away my own and her personal credibility in relationships.
WITH PURITY, HONESTY, AND DILIGENCE. I will pass my life and practice my art, except for the prudent correction of an imminent breakup, I will try to make her happy at a distance, without her knowledge, just as to keep our status as friends at bay, and her relationship with her attending boyfriend healthy. Into whatever call or request coming from her, I will go for her benefit and abstain from every voluntary act of mischief or corruption and further acts that will only please myself.
WHATEVER IS IN CONNECTION with my practice or not in connection with it I may see or hear regarding her personal life which ought not be spoken abroad, I will not divulge, reckoning that all disclosed information should be kept secret.
WHILE I CONTINUE to keep this Oath unviolated may it be granted to me to enjoy her company and the beauty that I see everytime I am around her, but should I trespass and violate this Oath, may thee reverse be my lot.
*edited from Hippocratic Oath article found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocratic_Oath
------------------------------------------but really, we're just suckers for a pretty smile.
~me~ at 8:47 AM
|
|
