busridediary

2010-03-23T00:48:00.004+08:00

It was a rainy Wednesday afternoon. I was in an FX taxi when i first saw her. I was looking at her from the inside of the taxi that I'm in. She boarded the taxi and she sat right in front of me. We were at the back-most part of the taxi. We were literally face to face - I froze up. She was stunningly beautiful.

She might've noticed that I was staring at her, and she smiled at me - probably because everybody from the taxi was watching her as she hastily crossed the street. Right then and there, i knew that i couldn't let this moment pass. I knew that it was going to be a once-in-a-lifetime moment - I might never ever get to see her again. But then, I also knew that she was way out of my league. She's probably every guy's dream girl, and I'm just a boy whose heart and jaw dropped the moment I saw her - but I really, really need to make the most out of this moment.

Fortunately, we were stuck in a massive traffic jam. I had time to come up with a ruse to talk to her. I took out my cellphone and keyed-in this message:
"I'm mute and deaf, can you please give my fare to the driver?".
I waved my hand to get her attention and I showed her the message. She gave me a thumbs up. I keyed in another message:

"How much is the fare to Sta Lucia?".

At this point, she took out her own cellphone and keyed in "25."

I handed 25 pesos to her and she gave my fare to the driver, and I keyed in -

"Thanks. :).. I don't know where Sta Lucia is, can you tell me what it looks like?" -

I was trying my best to hide my smile because I was there, actually having a conversation with her.

"That's where I'm going too. I'll tell you when we're near."

I had to keep the ball rolling so I had to make excuses to talk to her.

"Where are we?" was the first question on my mind. Again, I keyed that in to my cellphone and showed it to her.

"Santolan" was her reply
I was having so much fun that I forgot that the trip was about to come to an end.

Of course, I knew where and what sta lucia looks like. I knew that we were nearing our destination when I keyed in my last message:

"Just in case I get lost, can I contact you to give me some instructions?"

She gave me her number without any hesitation.

And just when we were about to reach our destination... I was the first one to say...

"MAMA PARA PO SA TABI LANG!"

I opened the door and I was the first one to get out of the taxi. She was staring at me, clueless and confused, when I reminded her - "We're here"

She got off the taxi and walked away, like nothing happened.

A week later, I called her up. I've never heard her voice before, and It was the sweetest 'Hello' that you could imagine. I stuttered and slipped through the conversation but I battled my way through it. A few days later, she agreed to have lunch with me. We met up, a few awkward smiles at first, but we managed to get each other laughing. I felt like we knew each other from a long lost world, and here we are, rediscovering each other.

She talked about how much she loved gardening, and I again made a ruse to make her steer the way I wanted her to. I told her that my mom loves gardening too(which is true) and I'd want to go to tagaytay to buy my mom a plant (which is a lie. Not that I don't want to make my mom happy, I'm just not that crazy about plants). We went to tagaytay and I bought her a pretty flower instead.

2010-03-22T23:26:00.002+08:00

Banat galore.

towi: gah
towi: kung may clone ka a
towi: pakilala mo sakin
jeca: hahaha oo naman!
towi: make sure that she's single
towi: o kaya dapat di pa nya nakikilala yung clone ni ****
towi:
jeca: hay nako
jeca: you wouldn't want to date me anyway
jeca: pag nakilala mo ko you'd think otherwise
jeca: XD
towi: well
towi: bago mangyari yun
towi: i'd have to wait another 9months to get your number
towi: another 6 or so months before i ask you out
towi: and another year before you say yes
towi: and even if you'd say yes, i still think i'd like you after i know you

The letter that never had a chance to be sent

2010-02-22T02:56:00.007+08:00

I'll never forget the first time I saw you
Since then, I've always felt the need to see you smile.
I've always wanted to be near you,
be close enough to hear your voice,
even as awkwardly close to intentionally smell your hair when the wind blows
You probably don't know
that everytime we meet
is the highlight of my week.

I love it when you smile for nothing
I love it when I realize that I'm waiting for you to smile when there's something around worth smiling for
I love it when you forget where we're at, and as if we're the only ones in the room
I love it when you pout
I love it when you grin
I love it when you gently bite my shoulders when you hug me
I love it when we're caught up in the rain and you're looking straight right up, allowing the rain to drop on your face

I love it when you giggle while we're watching a horror movie
I love it when you use me as your pillow, your sofa and even as your bed
I love it when you wake up and say 'good morning' with a sweet smile on your face
I love it when we laugh uncontrollably
I love it when you remember little things about us
I love your spaghetti, your caldereta and your mashed potatoes
I love the way you look when you wake up

Did you know that the sunset turns your eyes into a beautiful afternoon brown?
It's been so long since the last time we've met
and you've probably forgotten how good we were.
I realized that I haven't thought about you lately
and now all these reminiscing made me miss you.

You're bossy
You're picky
You're needy
You have a lot of things going on
You're inconsistent
You're inconvenient

but that's the thing, there's just something about you that makes it all okay.
No, not just okay - it's something else..

I WANT to make you happy
I WANT to be hassled with your every want and every need
I WANT to cope up with your indecisiveness
I WANT to give up the convenience and serenity of being alone
I WANT to stay up late at night thinking and worrying about you
I WANT to be troubled

I WANT to be miserable

I miss you.

I want to be miserable, and the odds just simply won't let me be.

2010-02-15T17:32:00.001+08:00

Cover of PnE's Your Song(One and Only You)

PnE - One and only you | Music Upload

2010-02-13T14:26:00.002+08:00

How to put the perfect smile on her face

The love month is coming, and surely enough, almost all of us want the perfect moment, in a perfect place, with the perfect date, on the perfect day. Sadly, the quest for perfection requires a lot more than just blending in with what everybody else does. If you want this day to be perfect, then you have to be extraordinary.

Being extraordinary doesn't mean that you have to be public with what you do. Most women are uncomfortable with public displays. You just have to be subtle with what you do. It's not easy to sweep someone off their feet. Timing helps. Spontaneity adds to the drama - but whatever you do, these things won't work unless you have a sincere agenda of making her happy.

I have a few suggestions, some of which i have tried before - and i guarantee, that with the right timing and the right words, you'll see the perfect smile on her face.

Music Covers - The Mixed tape is out. Dedicating videos on youtube is totally out. Now, if you can make your own version of her favorite songs, that would be unique. Regardless if you do a good cover or not, the effort itself will be enough. Music videos are in too. Make a fool out of yourself by filming yourself while lipsynching her favorite songs. Who knows, she might like it. :D

Puzzles - It's a little hard for women to take you seriously, especially when you're perceived as a laid-back type of guy. You might want to express how serious you are by exerting a little more effort into what you do. Let's say you're planning to ask her out on a date. Slip a little puzzle into which the answer/conclusion whatever is making an impression on you asking her out. It's a little act that goes unnoticed, but it will hopefully change their impressions on you.

Birthday Greeting Stunt - let's say you're looking for some place to eat, go to a restaurant that has a birthday routine - the routine some restos have, where the staff will sing a birthday song, probably acting out their routine, in a surprise for their customer. This works better if that day is NOT her birthday. Now, there might not be a smile at her face at first, but the initial reaction - PRICELESS.

Roses - Now, this is probably the cheapest, but by far the most effective thing that you can purchase as far as cost and effect is concerned. For some reason, I really don't understand why girls love roses.. I am only sure that it works. Roses symbolize something in our subconscious that is relatively difficult to explain. Make that vague impression an advantage. For the dramatic effect, I suggest that you find creative ways on giving your roses. Do a magic trick. Slip it inside her bag. Close her eyes and give her the rose. Have the security guard give it for you. Send it on a paper plane. Attach notes to it such as "Just because it's tuesday" or other stuff. Make gift stuffings out of petals. Send it through a toy car. Have your mom give it for you (haha) - any of these things will do. As long as it's creative, it will work.

Spontaneous Trips - This is possible if you own a car. If you're in for a night out, the beach would probably be a nice place to stay. Just laying in the sand, and if possible, you can create a bonfire for the two of you. I tried this before and i should say that the serene silence of the sea, with only the waves creating sound, it creates a perfect setting for a romantic evening.

Amusement Parks - The Enchanted Kingdom is at the top of the list on this one. Again, timing is everything. You might want to catch the fireworks. I think it's at 9pm. You can set up the perfect view by riding the wheel while watching the fireworks. And who knows, you might get kissed. ayiii XD

Live Bands/Concerts - This is a common thing among gimikeros, but for those who are just above the legal age *bang* this will be the perfect opportunity for you guys to enjoy your favorite bands performing live. You can make a more dramatic outcome for this if she doesn't have a clue about where you're going.

And lastly, don't forget to give her a flower every now and then. . Try giving her a rose on February 15 - It reminds her that you don't need a special day to remind her that she is special (only if you're sincere about it though).

I kept the best ones for myself. haha! who knows, I might use it someday.

I hope these suggestions helped you. Have a good day and happy lovin! :D

*reposted.

2010-01-20T08:47:00.007+08:00

BF911

The BOYFRIEND 911, also known as The Emergency Boyfriend or EBF, is a vocation by single males from the age of 15-25, that caters the special needs of women at events that her attending boyfriend is not available. This vocation covers all of women's emergency boyfriend needs such as: Intensive emotional care, Instant complimenting service, Ego stretcher, Self-esteem resuscitation and revival, PARTYVAC which stands for Party Evacuation, Prospect psychoanalysis and evaluation, and Intensive listening and monitoring for your heart's activity.

Most of EBFs are applicants for the attending boyfriend position. Some EBFs have already been rejected for the position, but are still living on the premise that all professions, either romantic or medical, can be progressive granted that you do things right - and you don't get paid as much as the other guy.

All EBFs refer to this service as their vocation. They are bound by this unspoken oath.

THE BOYFRIEND 911 HIPPOCRATIC OATH*

I SWEAR in the presence of myself and no one else, that according to my ability and judgment, I will keep this Oath and Stipulation.

TO RECKON all who have taught me this art equally dear to me as my childhood hero and in the same spirit and dedication to impart a knowledge of the art of sacrifice to others. I will continue with diligence to keep abreast of other ways to admire at a distance. I will serve without exception for the girl who has my heart on a string, so long as the relationship with her and her attending boyfriend is not compromised thereby, and I will seek the counsel of other EBFs who have undergone the same situation before where indicated for her happiness and approval.

I WILL FOLLOW the method of sacrifice which according to my ability and judgment, considering her benefit and abstain from whatever is harmful or mischievous. I will neither perform nor try to do any acts that may bring her pain and dilemma, or any such thing that brings peril to her relationship with her attending boyfriend to show utmost respect for every relationship from first glance to breakups and reject coveting which deliberately takes away my own and her personal credibility in relationships.

WITH PURITY, HONESTY, AND DILIGENCE. I will pass my life and practice my art, except for the prudent correction of an imminent breakup, I will try to make her happy at a distance, without her knowledge, just as to keep our status as friends at bay, and her relationship with her attending boyfriend healthy. Into whatever call or request coming from her, I will go for her benefit and abstain from every voluntary act of mischief or corruption and further acts that will only please myself.

WHATEVER IS IN CONNECTION with my practice or not in connection with it I may see or hear regarding her personal life which ought not be spoken abroad, I will not divulge, reckoning that all disclosed information should be kept secret.

WHILE I CONTINUE to keep this Oath unviolated may it be granted to me to enjoy her company and the beauty that I see everytime I am around her, but should I trespass and violate this Oath, may thee reverse be my lot.

*edited from Hippocratic Oath article found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocratic_Oath

------------------------------------------

but really, we're just suckers for a pretty smile.

2010-01-09T19:27:00.000+08:00

I get lost on the boulevard at night...
Without your voice to tell me "I love you, take a right."

2010-01-05T08:03:00.001+08:00

I am writing this post while I'm under the influence of four sugary donuts.

I'm watching smallville all over again. The story is simple - Clark Kent is keeping his abilities as a secret - and it's amazing how it happens too. Someone gets knocked out ALWAYS. If the injuries in this series are up to scale with reality, Lana, Lex and Chloe must've gotten some kind of permanent brain damage due to the number of concussions sustained during the series.

All stories nowadays have one thing in common - Secrets. Something is always kept from someone, something is always bound to be discovered. Eventually someone gets hurt, either physically or emotionally- it doesn't matter. The people who developed these stories must have realized that people cannot live without secrets. Secrets are made and discovered every painstaking hour of our lives, and it's only the big ones that really count... Like, let's say, Love Secrets.

Romantic love is always a secret at first. It is kept like it's something precious. Guarded and sealed. Then somebody bends... Somebody admits their feelings. Thus, a secret is revealed. A gift is given. But people always have a way of complicating things. Other factors such as friendship, compatibility and convenience will always get in the way of revealing love. Compatibility and convenience is pretty much self-explanatory. So let's just discuss the dilemma of friendship.

There are reasons why people choose to keep love as a secret. People tend to overestimate the future. We underestimate trust and friendship. The thing is, when you are in love (or when you think you are in love) you will always be caught up in a dilemma where a part of you wants to do this thing for the one you love, and a part of you is scared because the one you love might find out about your secret. And as far as the trend goes, there is a good reason to be scared. because for some odd reason, the person being loved is also scared of being loved.

This strikes me the most. Why do people feel awkward if they feel that someone is "loving" them but that someone still opts to keep it as a secret? Love is already present. There is no way to undo it. Isn't it unfair that those who keep love as a secret ends up as the one who is left behind? I mean, didn't these people weigh friendship over their own feelings and by doing so excludes them from the benefits of being loved? Some people are immature enough to despise them for doing so.

Personally, I think that it's best not to confess love, but to just... express it. Make the person you love feel loved and scratch that itch that compels you to admit it. Express love every chance that you get. For when the time comes, the person you love won't ask you if you love them.... Because they already know.

- a repost for jaz.

2009-10-25T01:06:00.001+08:00

A pill as my pillow,
It cradles me to sleep.
On a cloudless night,
it's better than counting sheep

My pill with my pillow
let time pass me by.
Willingly caught in your trance,
the only way for tears to dry

My pill and my pillow
bear secrets that nobody will know.
A cipher that no one can crack
will be all I have before I go

Pretty soon I will give up.
My heart can take no more.
The life that I knew,
is no longer worth living for

Drag me one last time
to the place where we always go.
the more of you I take,
the more my eyes lose its glow

My pill and my pillow
what have you done to me?
Now all I will be
is a distant memory.

Dating Analysis Part 1

2009-07-02T22:07:00.010+08:00

Dating Analysis Part I

The concept of dating is fairly new to us pinoys. Dating is something brought about by a series of failures that have significantly diminished the quality of lives for millions and millions of people. It's in our genetic makeup that we would want and need someone to spend our lives with. Thus being said, we should be able to choose who that person would be. That's where dating comes in.

A few years back, I didn't have a clue on what this was for. I was one with the crowd. I thought that when two people go to the mall, it's a date - but no, it's not. For a date to be called a date, both parties must be aware of the parameters of the engagement. The validity of a date often falls on the hands of the woman. A man would ask a woman out for a lot of reasons, but when he asks a woman out alone, more often than not, it means something. It's just up to the woman if it also means something for her. There are three common reasons why dates happen; To know each other, to evaluate one another, and to have fun. A date is something like a job interview that lasts longer. The only difference is that you might be interviewing your future boss.

After a few eye openers, I learned that dates - specifically the first ones are more significant than the ones that would follow. This is the part where the participants are in the dark, not knowing what to say or not to say, what catches each others' attention and what turns them away. The success of this phase secures future dates. This is also the part where people are in their most vulnerable stage - notably more in men than in women - because women, of course, have powers far beyond those of mortal men.

Women would make great spies because they have picked up a lot of espionage skills in dating. Women notice the slightest of hints that would make them like or dislike their date. The quality of the restaurant, the spontaneity of their date's acts, even the difference in their date's voice. But don't get me wrong, some men do notice these things too, but not as good as a woman does. Women react to these things more than men.

When a man asks a woman out, it's a dead giveaway that he likes her. When a woman agrees, however, it doesn't mean that she likes him too, but she is interested in what might happen. Rejection, however, whether upfront or just silent treatment, mean only one thing.- NO. The silent treatment also tells you that she's considerate, but still, NO..

Ultimately, there are not much mistakes that you can commit in a date when respect and honesty is deployed. The most common mistake people make in a date is that people try to make their dates like them. It works sometimes but it sure doesn't get you very far. People should try to know each other and not only flaunt those things that are "likeable" about you. A blanket of honesty nullifies those superhuman skills of women.

People view their imperfections as bad things that should never be brought up, but no, these imperfections, they are the good stuff. It's not the things you're proud of that makes you unique, but your imperfections and how you make it bearable.

Happy dating! :)

2009-06-23T03:20:00.013+08:00

A desperate attempt at a classic.

*pasensya ulit sa off-notes at boses ><

Cover of Frank Sinatra's In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning

in the wee small hours of the morning | Online recorder

In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think of counting sheep

When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
Youd be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
Thats the time you miss her most of all

* Debie, this song is for you :D
* First song recorded using headset mic
* First song recorded using my Joyce guitar :D
* Recorded in the wee hours of the morning. haha
* I have no idea how the original version is played. I listened to John Mayer's version and went with it. haha

2009-06-21T03:27:00.006+08:00

The feeling floods me
as I watch you sleep,
while listening to you breathing,
The feeling reaches deep

I stay awake to figure out
how to describe what you mean to me.
A rough display of heart and soul,
struggling to draw what the eyes can't see

The strong sensation stays
as I close my eyes and wish to sleep
Peaceful and lost all at once,
I only hope you're mine to keep

In fear of breaking our silence,
my mind whispers what I cannot say.
hoping that it will reach you in your dreams
that when you wake you'd want to stay

Tomorrow morning when you wake,
another chapter starts anew.
To know what it's like to be falling,
is another chance to write about you

2009-06-11T06:51:00.003+08:00

marky silo: wahahaha
marky silo: how d0 u live thru that?
marky silo:
towi: simple lang. whaha
towi: if you happen to drop your heart
towi: due to slippery hands, spur of the moment
towi: and poor judgment
towi: pick it up
towi: dust it off
towi: blow on it a little
towi: and say
towi: "tsk, pwede pa to. wala pang five minutes"
towi: WAHAHAHA!
towi:

2009-06-10T23:29:00.007+08:00

This may be the first time that I've written an entry for a direct recipient.

In a movie or a TV series, when someone is stranded, the plot conveniently provides him with a radio. He then broadcasts his mayday to every channel available, hoping that someone will eventually pick his transmission. Think of this entry as a broadcast. I'm in no danger, and I'm in no need for rescue, but I'll exhaust whatever means that you've provided to get this message across.

I think that you're no stranger to what I write here. Since you won't give me some alternative means to contact you, I've exploited this blog to its full capacity. I noticed that you would only visit this page when you see me comment on one of your friends' blogs or tagboards. I found that effective. I think by the time you're reading this, I probably would've dropped by your blog or your friends' blogs again.

Enough of the introduction.
My message is short.

Let's have coffee sometime. Why? Because I think that would be fun. We could OD on caffeine. This might be the first time that I look at the overpriced coffee that I'm drinking and think that it's actually worth it. The last time we talked I told you that that was the best time that I had in weeks. Little did I know, that would be the highlight of my summer.

I think that it's very crucial that I get this message across because the chances of this happening is very very very slim, and the numbered days of your extended vacation is not helping. Thus saying, you never said no but I think I owe you the courtesy of interpreting your silence as a way of saying no. But still, I think it's worth a shot.

If you recall that moment when we talked about risks.. If you smiled at any part of this message, this risk would be definitely worth it.

2009-06-02T19:36:00.004+08:00

Cover of The Script's I'm Yours

You touched these tired eyes of mine
And mapped my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine

I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours

And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

*I had to cut the song short because my unlicensed audio converter can only convert up to 210secs
*Imbento lang yung guitars. haha! wala kasing tab e.
*Elise, this song is for you. :D. Pasensya kung kinakapos ako ng hininga palagi haha.

2009-05-20T10:33:00.004+08:00

the 15-minute song challenge.

give me a title | Upload Music

Funny how simple things become beautiful once it catches your eyes.
It's crazy how you make me feel
you hold me with a smile to kill
i think it's fine to be mesmerized

so you get what you deserve
i'm running out of words
and just in case i won't recover

i want to say some things
when you're not one click away
i want to say it
when it happens
i want to know you're real
and tell me what's the deal
i wanna know what to do when i feel like i would miss you
you've got to tell me
how to reach you
you've got to tell me
cause i
i want to reach you now

2009-05-17T21:34:00.005+08:00

My first song with intros and adlibs. . I really need someone to sing this for me. Pagpasensyahan ninyong muli ang aking boses.

untitled | Music Upload

*mixed with Windows media player, winamp and sound recorder. I don't know why my pc is incompatible with adobe audition. It could've been a lot easier to put together if i had it. Ah, timing. Thou art a heartless bitch.

*edit* ngayon ko lang nalaman, may ibang audio mixing tool pala. nagpakahirap pa ako. psh.

Lyrics

I could have changed
I guess I always knew
This ship was sinking
suppose i got
too tired of thinking

I could wait forever
for bad to become good
we could wait a lifetime
to be heard and understood

i just think about you
and it goes away
keep thinking *i could wake up
to this everyday

and walk in the fields
as i watch the sun smile for you
cause everytime i see your face
my heart smiles too*

we could have changed
i guess we always knew
our hearts were beating
i think we're stuck
in the beginning

You're saying you won't be that
but nothing ever changes
things may look the same
but life just rearranges

** meme and jeca's lines.
.

2009-05-12T21:41:00.004+08:00

This is a tribute for the romantic martyrs. For the lack of a better term, you have been branded as such because you are governed by your strong will to please someone while selflessly sacrificing your own immediate happiness. This is dedicated to those who are never reciprocated at times when they truly deserve appreciation, and to those who are insensitively utilized just because they show that they don't expect anything in return.

This is for the people who can withstand mending someone else's heart while breaking their own. This is for the pain you endured while listening to her when she unraveled how perfect her date was while you're establishing a façade to make it appear that you're happy that she's happy but deep inside you're gradually losing hope of being truly happy. This is for the moments when you watched from a distance as she adores one person after the other, completely overlooking your predisposition as a prospect. This is for the time when you unconsciously surrendered to the fact that you can do nothing more than just being a friend. This is for the moments when you felt that you could do something more but she never looked at you in a different light. This is for the time when you wanted to be useful to someone who doesn't need you.

This is for the time when you needed someone to lean to, but all your hints have apparently bounced off her mind. This is for the pain that nobody knew about. This is for the night when your heart felt like it was stabbed and the weakening sensation radiates from your chest down to your toes. This is for the hundreds of times that you've said that you'd take no more, but with just a hint that she needs you, you'll come back to her rescue. This is for the words that you had the guts to say but couldn't say it anyway.

You often worry because you might miss the opportunity of helping her out. You might also be aware that she might be holding back so that she doesn't hurt you much, just to keep you around. You are branded as masochists because people think that you require pain to feel accomplishment, but in reality, pain is just a consequence for a greater goal of keeping someone happy. You often doubt yourself because you do not know what your strengths are anymore. At times you might think back, admiring what you've endured and how other people could've succumbed at the first signs of pain, but a while later, you despise your weakness in not being able to move on.

I genuinely believe that it takes a lot of courage to be adamant with the intent of keeping somebody happy, but it requires a lot more than courage to move on. I also believe that there's a significant amount of reason behind this kind of martyrdom. It might seem foolish at times, but martyrs often think that the person he/she loves is worth it, but in reality, he or she is never really worth it.

For all the things you endure in this world, you are worth far more than just some bitch or jerk who failed to realize how lucky they are to have someone who can put up with their insensitivity. I know that somewhere inside you, you know that you deserve to be treated better. For all the things you can do, you are more than a gift to someone else. Someone who will treat you better. Someone who will share and reciprocate. There are people in this world who will realize your worth.

Happiness is just around the corner. Take your time. Move on. Be happy.

2009-04-23T01:45:00.008+08:00

i
did what the
chain letters asked
me to do. I closed my eyes,
I jumped , I copied and pasted,
because I thought that It would
somehow make you notice me
It's a little too much, i know.
`cause if you look at me
and you look at you,
What chance do
I have
if
I
don't
overdo?

Humiliation

2009-04-21T15:43:00.004+08:00

2009-04-21T00:33:00.007+08:00

I don't know when I got bitter
but love is surely better when it's gone
-Tonic, You wanted more

People often feel this way when it comes to love. When it's gone, that's the time we feel love again. We remember how it was, we imagine how it could be. The fact is, we don't try to keep it together when there's nothing pulling it apart.

It's the general idea when it comes to love, or life. We remember the extreme ideas of what it was and how it started and how it ended. There's a moment in life where it's all good. There's enough money, time, you even have something interesting to keep you busy. You might even have someone to spend your perfect life. But when everything is perfect, it wont matter. It's always the way up or the way down. No one thinks about what happens in between because you'd never really enjoy the moment when it's all put together, because it probably never really is. Even when everything is fine, being fine means there is something wrong. It's wrong mostly because only a few people realize that they are taking it for granted.

For the most of us, being on the way up and on the way down means everything to our story. It's how we want our story to be heard. Even when things are fine, people still find a way to disrupt the monotony of just being "fine" - because those moments when things fall apart are just setting you up for the moment where you put it back together. People feel redefined after picking up the pieces. But in reality, when you put the pieces back, you still get the same figure.. plus the cracks and fissures.

If you think about it, every love story has a huge piece missing. Take The Notebook for an example. We know how Noah and Allie started, we knew how they ended up. But no one really knows what happened in between. The 50 years that they omitted from the story could be the good parts. Maybe when that part of the story is told, we'd know why they loved each other that much. We're amazed because we thought that it's not normal to have such a commitment, but the truth is, stuff like that happen everyday. Not everyone gets to tell their story, and not everyone knows that their story is worth telling.

It can happen to you. Maybe it already happened to you. You might've had the best time of your life and you're just too preoccupied with your thirst for drama to see it.

So is your story worth telling?

Or are you just too blind to see it?

2009-04-13T10:43:00.009+08:00

Three weeks ago, i purchased a new guitar. It wasn't an impulse buy. In fact, I've been saving for it for months.

Last January, I saw this guitar at my friend's music shop. It was a Silvertone SD50 guitar with a limited-edition red sunburst design. It was definitely an eye catcher. It was one of kuya tony's display instruments, which means it's a bit pricey. I wanted to try if it feels and sounds as good as it looks, and when i did, it felt and sounded better than any guitar i've ever played. Right then I knew that I've got to have it.

I name my guitars usually after sexy actresses, but for this guitar, I named it after a friend.

Ladies and gentlemen,

JESSICA.

When I saw that guitar, a part of my brain linked it to one of Jeca's photos- the one with the red dress. She rocked that dress and it would be very fitting to name my guitar after her, so that one day, when I'm a legend and i'm writing my autobiography, i'd say that i named this guitar after someone who looks very good in red. XD

I saved up and worked twice as hard to purchase that guitar... and two months later, I was ready to purchase my dream guitar... but then I found out that it was purchased two weeks before I showed up. It broke my heart =(

Three weeks ago, i got an IM from kuya tony. He said that he would be exclusively distributing Yamaha instruments and because of that, he couldn't sell other brands anymore. He also told me that he had another Silvertone SD50 but only in its natural finish. He offered me a whopping 50% discount and so i took it. We met someplace and he gave me the complete package. Gig bag, tuning kit, spare DiAddario string set, a guitar strap, and a set of guitar pics.

I went home with a big smile on my face. I just bought my best guitar ever.

-------------------------------

I was jamming a while ago with my mom. My mom, at 59, still knows how to play rhythm. So here we are (btw, my mom is using the jessica guitar) my mom at rhythm and me playing lead.

duet | Upload Music

2009-03-22T00:20:00.004+08:00

Wise men say time does the healing
and I think we had enough of it
a thousand days in the making
I finally had the chance to quit

I've patched my wounds
and all the while we've been hiding,
moving on as life intended
a love forgotten or a heart pretending

I'll never understand your sudden need to speak
and why you never did it before
Your words still make me weak
and i still can't wish for anything more

I'd like to think I've moved on
just by being a better man.
By forgetting you I think I've won
I let myself believe that i can

I cant do what it needs to fix my mess
and I'm doing no better than you
All the while I'm just making progress
I haven't moved on like you do

2009-03-05T20:19:00.008+08:00

I've always been a fan of relationships. I think it started when my ate mayen and kuya jimbo started dating. Nobody ever knew about it - or maybe I was kept in the dark because I was too young then to know what it is. Since then I was intrigued. I want to know how relationships start, how it supposedly ends, how it starts again, what happens next, how to get there, how to avoid certain moments, how to know which moments to avoid and which ones to go for, and how to keep it.

Upon reaching adolescence, I had a taste of my own curiosity. I learned then that not all relationships are as perfect as the one my sister has. I screwed up most of the time. It wasn't clear then why I was so bad at something I was always curious about. Then I went to college, and time added a mix to the illusion that i thought was a relationship : love. Then it all started to make sense. Everything went well for xnumberofdaysmonthsoryears, then i screwed everything up - but that's not the one i want to discuss.

Relationships primarily revolve around LOVE. The problem is, 80% (hypothetical statistic) of people either overestimate or underestimate that feeling. Now I may not be the one to tell you what love is, since i screw it up almost everytime, but my experience as a screwup can tell you what love is not.

Love is not always with a person - You might think that you love a person but it's actually only something with him/her that you love. You might love how he/she looks and what he/she does but you might not love the person at all. The only stable definition of love that I know is that everything is harder without it. Change is inevitable with every couple. Some adapt and compromise, others do not survive. Those who do, love the other person itself.

Love is not an exact science - This is the reason why there is no Love-ology. People tend to think that if you follow a certain set of rules, you'd be living happily ever after with the one you love. The effect of every rule or every advice about love varies. There is no definite outcome for any advice that you might want to follow. People (such as myself) give out suggestions (such as my previous posts) because we've been through a certain experience that might be the same as the one you are experiencing right now.

Love is not a switch that you can turn on and off - It is always ON. Once you shut it off, it's the end. Can i not elaborate this? this is really twisting my brains out. But in a way, you get it, right?

Love is not destined - Three years ago, a young, smart, pretty and hot girl once asked me if i believed in destiny. I was dumb then, so i said YES. Months passed before i realized that that was a line from the movie The Matrix. In a way, I agreed with what the movie said. The same goes with everything else. Therefore I don't believe in destiny(fate) because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life. In love, of course, you don't have control of everything, but everything that happens in love is just a chain reaction of things that you did before.

Love is not a fairytale - In real life, if a prince traveled around the world for a person that he never saw and never talked to, he'd be tagged as a fool. If a princess woke up to a kiss from someone that she doesn't recognize, and made out with him even more, she'd be a whore. If you still believe in love at first sight, then you should break your heart more.

The truth is, love is what you make it. We learn it everytime we do something wrong. We think we're doing the right thing until something screws up the illusion. Each love feels different. There is no better love - because if you can sincerely feel love for one person today, that's the best love you've ever had.

2009-02-28T19:06:00.010+08:00

jeca: kamusta na blog mo?
towi: patay pa din
jeca: nako!
jeca: haha!
jeca: bakit wala ka maisip bagong entry?
towi: eh.. wala na eh.
towi: haha
towi: ano ba magandang entry?
jeca: ako
jeca: hahahhha
jeca: JOKE LANG!
jeca: ginaya ko lang si meme
jeca: xD
towi: hahaha
towi: sige ikaw nalang.
jeca: waaaaaaaaaa
jeca: biro lang yun
towi: sa totoo lang, i was hoping na sasabihin mo yun
towi: nyaahahaha

It's not like that i never thought about writing an entry about Jeca, i just needed something to secure my butt just in case i wasn't allowed to. I was this cautious since the moment that I asked for her number and well.. i failed.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are.

This and probably a thousand lines more from random songs remind me of Jeca. It's like the fragments of her awesomeness are scattered all around the globe, and songwriters are writing about it.

You're the beauty that is deeper
than eyes can merely see
the closest thing to perfect
but the farthest thing from me

Trust me - These lines? I wrote it. The band just thought about it first. haha.

Anybody that has been within two feet of her will sense that she's special. It's strange how a simple smile can throw somebody off-balance. Her voice itself will make you want to listen. And her eyes - It may be a good thing that she doesn't like to be stared at, because once you make an eye contact with her, you'll feel like you've bared your soul and she's looking straight right through you. You'll flinch before she even winks. It may seem that I'm exaggerating on this post, but I must say that this is the only way to describe her. She is a deep person, and so is her beauty.

It's not that hard to have a conversation with her. She senses when you're having a hard time communicating or expressing yourself. She makes things easier. She likes it when you go straight to the point, but she hates it when you're being insensitive. Even when we're chatting online, she sets up the mood by making my name look exciting (towi!!!! < like that). She probably is the least boring person that I know. I knew she was amazing beforehand, but there's a ton of things about her that I don't know.

Since I've slipped far too many times with my words, she learned to laugh it off and treat my screwups as pickup lines. But now, since this blog is my kingdom, and I am king, I can now confidently say that most of those lines that you've deemed copied from another source are genuine. and they came out unbelievably cheesy - and that's why I opted to save myself from humiliation and made it look like i got it somewhere. @_@ I just can't help it. She's probably tired of all the compliments but when you see someone like her in my eyes, it will never be enough. Something will compel you to say something cute and stupid.

I'm at the end of my post and I still feel like there's something missing. I might've missed a few details- I'll edit this as soon as i remember them.

I'm ending the love month with a smile.

Oh, I almost forgot..

Can i please have your number? :D

2008-12-29T16:07:00.003+08:00

as the flowers wither
it's half past eight
but when you came running in,
it was worth the wait

with all the bloopers and such
and with people staring too.
but i swear to God
no one in this room...
is as beautiful as YOU

i know i told you that poetry is the perfect excuse to exaggerate... but this is probably the first time that i meant every word. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! =D

Sean Maguire's Monologue

2008-12-16T15:50:00.002+08:00

Sean Maguire's Monologue
A quote from the movie Good Will Hunting (1997)

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that.

If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy.

You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.

I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.

another man/woman rant

2008-12-15T05:17:00.008+08:00

It's 5:20am. I am 23 hours awake - and I'm blogging.

It was half past 3, and I was longing for my pillows. I had to stay awake when no one asked me to. I just felt like someone might need me, like i was the messiah on-call. I felt like i was compelled to sympathize with a friend - I can't leave her alone yet. And when the task is done, and the both of us are ready to sleep, she asked me for one last favor. She was a bit reluctant but I assured her that it was fine by me. She asked me to wake her up at 5am - granting that she would answer her cellphone when I'd call to wake her up, just to assure myself that she's awake (and because everyone sounds funny when they wake up :P ). I took a cup of coffee to stay awake. I watched some CSI while waiting.

I called her at exactly 5:01am. A few rings then *TOOOT*. She hung up. I tried to call her again but it seems that she turned it off. I was agitated for a few seconds. I calmed down, I sent her a text message.

=====man/woman rant coming up=====

It seems to me that this is a valid reaction for someone who hasn't slept for the past 20 hours. She wanted to rest some more and she probably trumped that idea over her common courtesy. This is all valid because she's a woman.

I realized that IF I did this to her, I'd probably be mentally crucified upside-down. There would be a wider area of no-text zones, a longer period of excommunication, a higher possibility of a friendship gone. And that's because I'm a man, not just because I'm a friend.

A rough conclusion to this is that women expect men to understand their situation, but in addition to that, men are expected to be less whiny. We men are supposed to act like staying up overtime is nothing. Both men and women can stay awake for 20 hours. The difference is, women can whine about it, and men can't.

=====rant over=====

You know who you are. Don't think that I'm mad, angry, inis or tampo and all the other negative emotions that you might come up with- at you. The truth is, I genuinely understand that you need rest. I know this because I've been reminding you that you need to rest since 12am. I just had to blog it to get it out of my system :P . Plus, I can't get mad at you. Not yet. I just picture you with your puppy eyes and then anger just drifts away. To tell you honestly, I don't think that you'll feel guilty. But IF you are, I'm curious about the way that you'll make this up to me. *evil laugh*

2008-12-10T01:23:00.007+08:00

the good girls are looking for each other
a radical choice that they seek
have they found what they want?
It's still the same words that make you weak

the good girls have found each other
who says men are to fear?
Men are from mars, they say
but dammit, we're still here!

the good girls are falling for each other
and they don't seem to care
the good guys are still waiting
hanging their heads in despair

i don't know if you know it
but best be aware
you steal our hearts too
and just 'loving your own' aint fair!

What difference does it make
to seek your own kind
is it for the thrill of it?
or for your own peace of mind?

======================================

======================================

aaaaand..

chance has passed me twice
thought a simple text might just suffice
this time I'll do better
can i please ask for your number?

haha. =)

2008-12-09T21:05:00.009+08:00

I've
been looking
for you, all of my life.
I've known since forever,
I'll say this before we meet.
Miss Anonymous, I'll miss you
the day before, the day after
you change my life forever.
Now I say these things
even before i mean it,
`cause I know
when
the
time comes
i know
that
you
will be worth
every single word.

The Meme post

2008-12-05T17:34:00.010+08:00

(text)
towi: gusto ko magblog. ano kaya magandang topic?
meme: ako. :D

It was a joke. But then, I hated myself for not coming up with it.

She is a good topic, of course. Almost every YM conversation is blogworthy. Why? It's a little complicated. There's something about her that stimulates my sedentary mind. It's been a while since I've taken things seriously, and have fun with it- and she made it happen. Also, there's something about the way her mind works. It's a little too easy to convince, yet it's that freakishly hard to decipher. It's hard to know what she really wants. Though it will be a lot easier to just ask, but she doesn't know it herself. Decoding her interests require a long, but at the same time an ultimately amusing conversation. The most recent poem that i wrote(which you will find as you scroll down) is actually based on her metaphor "namamangka sa tatlong ilog" and it's actually based on our conversations.

There is always something fascinating about her and her life. I never thought that at some point there will be another link between us other than our online friends. I recently found out that many of her close friends came from my high school alma mater and also, a number of my high school friends know her. Now that i think about it, she is the only link between my high school and my online life. She shrunk the world that i live in! Amazing.

I don't know if she is aware of this, but more often than not, it's her questions that made me reconsider the way i percieve my (love) life. I'm sure that i look at things differently now. (love)Life, it's the most common thing that we talk about. And it's relatively easy because we like the same type of (XXXXX). It's crazy too, because everytime I give that advice thing a shot, I look back at what i did before in my (love)life and i'd find something that would give her a heads-up on what is coming at her.

At this point in time, it doesn't matter where and how i met her. It's totally irrelevant now. This is the kind of thing that would never exist in an online friendship. She's like the little sister(/brother, whatever) that i never had. I get to try a mixture of my past fixes and my future plans on her (love)life. It's fun having a lab monkey =D.

Here's some random things about Meme.

- She recently changed her YM text color from green to brown.
- She separates every breath of laughter in text. ( ha ha ha ha )
- She has an extensive knowledge of text emoticons. o.o XD T_T
- She scares you at your first phone conversation
- She likes the pink version of spongebob , murdered with a popsicle.
- She owes me a slice of pizza
- She drives a Pajero
- She lacks 9 stickers for the starbucks promo
- She's cute by default. The pouty lips make it so.
- She can't stand a stare.
- She's fun, intelligent, a little obsessive, a little obscure, and all of these contributes to the fact that she is amazing.

To tell you the truth, my readers (if there's any), This post made me happy.

men, women, and relationships.

2008-11-25T14:47:00.010+08:00

Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to keep a relationship?

Although it has been with us since adam and eve, relationships tend to get complicated the minute people acknowledge it. Whether it is an issue of time, management, gender, fidelity, trust, intention, priority; one will definitely be present in a relationship. A relationship has more issues than FHM. People often dismiss the idea that Man, in its natural form, craves action and activity. People get into arguments because there is a significant amount of boredom in a relationship that they thrive to get some action even if it is in the form of an argument. Being in an argument isn't exactly what makes the relationship hard to manage. It's what they argue about, and how they conclude the argument that defines their relationship.

All arguments can be settled nicely with the proper management. Know what arguments to keep and know which ones to let go - But before we get to that, i should point out things that happen in an argument that is settled long even before the argument starts.

All men should know that men CANNOT win in an argument. Men often forget that most women are into the argument for the talk and not the conclusion. Men are the underdogs in an argument because arguing with a woman requires us to have SENSE, and even if we do, they still win. WHY? because they can pull that "I'm hurt" or "Don't you love me anymore?" or "I'm a woman, i deserve to be treated better" card to make you shut your trap. Women are into an argument because they want something to happen, and they don't want men to tell them that their man stands in their way from making it happen. So even before an argument starts, KNOW when to stop, and even before you subliminally make your point, accept the fact that you will do whatever she wants not because she is right but because you love her and/or she is important. Women have all the aces in an argument, so men must somehow learn how to play without winning but also getting his point across.

Women, on the other hand should be aware that men value their masculinity more than women value their femininity. Women should avoid arguments or even taunts that would diminish our mojo. Women should also be aware that the only thing we expect from them is that for them to treat us as men (yes, just as how they want to be treated like a woman). This means that we don't like them doing guy stuff for us or take our place in a relationship. Men have bigger egos. We don't want them to walk us home or open doors for us, but we would definitely like them to let us do it.

This brings us to another topic, Sexuality. Women are more comfortable with their sexuality than men. Why? because when a woman acts like a dude, it's cool. But when a dude acts like a girl, it gets creepy. This is probably why it is easier for a dude-hearted girl to come out of the closet than a fairy boy to face his daddy at the table. This is why there is no "The G Word" on Dvds. Our egos are fragile. WE want the guy stuff for us, and keep your girly stuff with yours. We can let them play with our guy stuff but don't expect us to play with theirs.

To sum it up, the best way to keep a relationship is to know what fights to pick, and to respect each other. An active relationship is more likely to prevent future arguments than settling for a fight that is on hand. Both parties should prioritize each other's best interests other than their own.

I don't know if you will take my word for it, but i've had my share of relationships that got nowhere. and that is what i based my theories upon. I hope that my failures will guide others on what and what not to do.

Have a good day and happy loving! =)

2008-02-14T04:09:00.012+08:00

With any luck,
by next year....

I'll be going out
with one of these girls

But for now,
let me say....

Without hope
or agenda..

Just because it's Valentine's Day...

(and at Valentine's day, it's all about love)

To me,
you are Perfect.

~and my wasted heart
will love you...

until you look like this-

Happy Valentine's Day. =)

juliana theory - the closest thing

2008-01-14T06:12:00.000+08:00

You're the words that come out easy,
And I am speechless at best.
Your star it seems to shine above the rest.
You're the face before the cameras,
The smile i'd like to earn.
The closest thing to perfect,
In a hollywood to burn.
You're the beauty that is deeper,
Than eyes can merely see.
The closest thing to perfect.
But the farthest thing from me.

I'd love to be,
The shoulder that you cry on.
I'd love to be,
The friend you call when things are great.

You're the dream that hasn't ended,
And I'm still anxious for rest.
Your words they seem to hang above my head.
You're the bud before the flower,
Unfurls into full bloom.
Captivating beauty,
But it maybe all too soon.
You're the song that writes a story,
But leaves a lot to read.
The closest thing to perfect,
But the farthest thing from me.

And like I really deserve a chance to,
Sit across the table,
And tell you that I think you're wonderful.
And I think you're something special.
I guess this is my only chance to,
Say I wish I knew you,
Because I'm sure you're wonderful,
If I'd get to know you.

2007-11-19T03:02:00.001+08:00

for no particular reason, i always recall this in-game moment everytime i leave ninyah.

"kuya, best friend mo si maz?"

"opo, y?"

"waa! ang swerte mo naman!"

i forgot who the dude is, but probably, he has no friggin idea how it feels to have the hottest person you know as your best friend.. and still, he's absolutely right.

i don't know if you call this luck, but fat chance that this will ever happen to you.

she is always good to look at. i've been looking at her this way for a year and i never grew tired of her. although we look like beauty and the beast together, it's OK because they think i'm lucky.

she is never boring. even if we do nothing, we're still having fun. i don't know how the hell she does it. also, she has the most contagious laugh. her laugh is like the lightning, and mine is like the thunder that follows it. when she laughs, i laugh. when i laugh, i am happy. so therefore, she laughs:me happy.

and just when it seems that i've known everything i should know about her, a trip with ninyah and her family made me realize something: ninyah is the complete mommy package.

although she doesn't want to get married, and she doesn't want to have kids, she has the patience, the skills and the charm to be a mom.

her nieces and nephews spend most of their time with her. they call her their BOSSING. she knows how to stop them from crying. she knows how to control their mood and their attention. they ask her anything about everything. she lets them speak their mind. she is their playmate, their friend, their teacher and probably, she means half the world to them. they're lucky to have their bossing.

now, i'm beginning to think that everyone that is close to ninyah is lucky. because she's all that and more!

2007-07-23T07:38:00.003+08:00

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last,that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

- a bump

2007-07-23T06:35:00.000+08:00

di ko akalain na sobrang tagal na pala mula nung huli akong nagpost dito. october 27 pa. ang dami nang nangyari mula noon. hindi ko na kailangang idetalye pa kung ano yun. magsisimula na lang ako mula sa mga bagay na may katuturan sa akin ngayon.

pagkatapos ko lumabas ng ospital, sa hindi maipaliwanag na dahilan ay naisipan kong maghabol sa mga taong naging importante sa akin dati. marami na pala akong nakaligtaan sa kanila. naramdaman ko na lang sa sarili ko na gusto ko kahit papaano eh makahabol naman ako sa buhay nila. kahit papaano, gusto ko pa rin maging bahagi ng mundo nila, kahit hindi na tulad noon.

hindi lahat madaling balikan. maraming bagay ang kinailangan kong ayusin bago man lamang makapagsimula ng isang usapan. mga bagay na hindi naayos dati, mga bagay na nagtapos ng pagkakaibigan.

di ko rin masabi kung bakit ko naramdaman yung kakulangan sa kaibigan. sa ngayon kasi, parang lumiliit na unti-unti yung mundo ko. ngayon ko na nararanasan yung epekto ng hindi ko pag ingat sa mga taong nakasama ko noon. mahabang paliwanag at paghingi ng sorry to. kung ano man yung kahihinatnan, bahala na..

lightning, you missed your target. i'm over here!

2006-10-27T20:24:00.000+08:00

when you lost your keys in panic,

and you stepped on a poop on your way out,

and realized that your shirt is stained with rust,

and your car is a mess,

and the interior smells like shit,

and you're due for a date in 20 minutes,

and came in late, and lost your date,

and she hates you so much,

she rejects every call you make,

she ignores every text message that you send,

and you went to that one place where you think she might be,

but she's not there.

that's when you'll realize, you're having a bad, bad day.

it's a classic.

chinelas

2006-10-26T18:18:00.000+08:00

ang silbi ng tsinelas ay hindi mababago ng presyong nakadikit dito. tama nga ba? salamat sa karunungan na ibinahagi sa akin ni lizette at may mailalagay na rin ako dito sa blog. =)

sumasabay ang buhay sa pagbabago, pero hindi ang tsinelas. tignan mo ang pantalon, kung anong silbi nito dati ay ganun pa rin hanggang ngayon. kung ano mang presyo, yun pa rin ang silbi nito. ngunit tila nagbabago na ang trend pagdating sa tsinelas. tignan mo ang kamikazee, nawala lang ang tsinelas, gumawa na ng kanta. havaianas siguro yun.

Havaianas, isang brand ng tsinelas galing brazil. price range P500+ , ang tatak na nagbago ng tingin ng ibang noypi sa tsinelas. bago maging "hit" ang havaianas, ginagamit lamang ang tsinelas sa tatlong dahilan. pang disiplina sa anak, pang patay ng ipis, at proteksyon sa paa. ngunit hanggang saan nga bang proteksyon ang nabibigay sa atin ng tsinelas? may dahilan kung bakit tayo naka sapatos kapag malayo ang pupuntahan natin. PROTEKSYON.

ngayon, kahit sa mall, o kaya minsan sa school, makikita mo ang tao, naka tsinelas. oo nga naman, style, fashion. ako kasi yung tipo ng tao na walang pakielam pagdating sa fashion. ang totoo nga nyan, hindi ko ma-distinguish kung ano ang havaianas at ordinaryong palengke pride beach walk unless tignan ko ng matagal ang paa mo, na hindi ko naman gagawin.

yun pala ang dahilan, fashion. nagpapakatanga ang ibang tao dahil sa fashion na yan. hindi naman masamang gumawa ng kakaiba para lamang mapansin, siguraduhin mo lang na sulit ang gagawin mong kakaiba. reasonable, kumbaga. ako, hindi ako magbabayad ng limandaan para lang sa tatak. ano ako, hilo? tsinelas pa rin yan.

napagusapan na rin lang ang katangahan, kamakailan lang ay may isang amerikanang nagbayad ng $12million para sa isang space vacation. lifetime dream ng isang milyonarya. 11 araw sya doon. sulit diba? nag eenjoy siguro sya habang pinapanood ang pag ikot ng mundo at paghilab ng sikmura ng mga taong nakatira dito. nasayang ang halaga ng pera nya. balang araw, kapag nakita ko sya, titsinelasin ko sya para magtanda.

2006-10-19T01:56:00.002+08:00

just when i thought it would end, along came a 10-minute extension. it was too good to be true. i can't miss the opportunity. after all, i don't want to miss anything.

i'm not really 'the man' when it comes to words. i leave things unsaid. i seldomly say this to someone, and you asked me what are the things that i'm dying to say but never got to say it.

i miss you
i'll miss you tomorrow and the day after
and probably i'm still missing you by the time you read this line

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

2006-10-11T04:23:00.000+08:00

i can't explain why we celebrate our birthday. it's just another year closer to death. and as corey taylor puts it, all we ever do is delay.

i can't find the right words (again) to describe the whole experience. i browsed my winamp and i found what i was looking for. every song seems to have a verse linked to that day.

How it started-

it was Breathe in for luck ( Dashboard Confessional - Hands down )
when i was driving, trying to catch up. i was two hours late. damn.

at her door it was Napatunganga, nang bigla kitang makita, pagkalipas ng mahabang panahon (Parokya ni Edgar - Alumni Homecoming )

inside the car, it was I feel the fear of uncertainty (Incubus - Drive)
...

at the party, where i knew no one, and no one to talk to, it was So little time, so much to do, i'd rather spend my days with you. ( Arkarna - So little time )

during the performace it was, I just fuck up. ( Slipknot - People = shit )
i screwed up around seven times. yuck.

after the performance it was, I'm so happy `coz today i found my friends, they're in my head (Nirvana - Lithium)

I would shiver the whole night through (Nirvana - Where did you sleep last night) when i figured out that i was alone, and had no one to talk to.

This verse issued a direct hit to my senses when i heard it. inside the car it was Close your eyes, you're beautiful when you're sleeping (The Juliana Theory - Goodnight Starlight )

while looking for some place to eat, it was, When we get there, we're gonna fly so far away, making sure to laugh ( Incubus - Summer Romance )

The song Halaga by PnE reminds me of the whole treats conversation.

I know i'll see you again (Incubus - I miss you)

if this is the way my 19th year on earth starts, then i'm assured that this year will be a good one for me. =P

bagyo. part 1

2006-10-03T04:44:00.000+08:00

sa susunod ko na lang kayo iuupdate sa epekto ng bagyo sa amin. wala pa kasing pictures eh.

inaantok na ako eh..

may tagboard at comments function naman dito sa blog. suggest kayo ng gusto nyong topic sa susunod. =)

2006-09-21T04:07:00.000+08:00

something is terribly wrong..

i'm drowned in serious fucking love songs.

slipknot->nirvana->lifehouse-> marc dorsey. what the hell?

i'm sweating off extra metal from my emotions.

happy? me? no.

in love? no.

the "feeling" is such a waste.

no object for my affection.

turning circles and time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet

ugh. sayang

2006-09-20T04:42:00.000+08:00

mahaba at mausok na byahe. yan lang naman. pero ok ang araw ko ngayon.. hindi umulan hnggat nung nakauwi na ako ng bahay. hindi rin ako late sa school at medyo mataas ako sa huling exam namin. nakasabay ko pauwi si mary, classmate ko nung high school sa baste. kwentuhan, konting chismis at masaya na rin. hindi gaanong traffic.

habang nasa bus ako, napansin ko, iba yata yung ambiance.. parang may mali.. hindi pala love radio yung pinapatugtog.. DIYOS KO, FINALLY! hayun.. nakapagisip ako ng medyo malalim.. weird nga yung paksa ng pagmumuni-muni ko kanina.. dream date. date na sa dream lang pwede mangyari. LOL. hindi naman.. pinagpaplanuhan ko yung next date. ang problema, walang ka-deyt. =) naghahanda lang naman eh. malay mo.

at isa pa..

buhay pag ibig, masalimuot. malungkot mag isa, nakakapraning pag may kasama. nakakapagod "mangarir", masakit mabasted. higit sa lahat, nakakainis kapag wala ka sa tamang oras. hindi ko sinasabing ako `to ah, yan ang dark side ng pagmamahal. love in general.

sabi nga ng prof ko, "if you are in love, and unhappy, blame it on your hypothalamus"

yun pala may kasalanan ng lahat. tsk tsk.

18....

2006-09-18T03:22:00.000+08:00

emo post uli.

18 ngayon. wala.. nakakamiss lang..

it's not that i still love jec, i just miss her. that's all

gusto ko nga pala sya i-text para i-update sya sa pagka preggy ni ate kaso hindi ko magawa, kasi binura ko lahat ng numbers nya. and kahit may number nya ako, baka hindi ko rin sya magawang i-text. kasi baka magalit bf nya.

yun lang naman. hehe =P

movies.

2006-09-18T03:12:00.000+08:00

ngayon ko lang aaminin, mahilig ako sa movies pero hindi ko kayang panoorin yung part na kinakawawa yung bida. ewan ko ba.. kapag mahuhuli, binubugbog, pag mattrap yung bida, pinipikit ko yung mata ko.. o kaya kung sa TV (hbo etc) ung movie, nililipat ko ng channel.. maiwasan lang yung part na yun. masyadong masakit para i-process ng utak ko yung mga nangyayari.. although movie nga lang yun, naaapektuhan pa rin ako..

napansin ko rin, na kahit uber cheezy ng movie, love story o kung ano man, basta maganda yung NGITI at TAWA ng female star, pinapanood ko. ANG BABAW KO! haha.. wala lang. weakness ko yun sa totoo lang. kapag nginitian ako, nahahawa ako, namo-move kagad ako. kapag nakikita kong masaya yung girl, ang nangyayari, mas masaya pa ako sa kanya.

kung feeling mo ikaw ay tulad ko, panoorin mo yung girl next door (elisha cuthbert aka kim bauer[24] )

yung part na nag joyride sila, mage-gets mo yung ibig ko sabihin dito :P

2006-09-18T03:04:00.000+08:00

okay. matagal din akong hindi nakapagpost =( hindi naman sa wala akong maipost kaya hindi na ako naguupdate ng blog ko. actually tinatamad lang ako...

GOOD NEWS! Preggy na si ate mayen ^_______^ sa wakas magkaka pamangkin na rin ako! sana twins sana twins wee ^_^ haha alas sais ng umaga, ginising ako ni mama para kausapin si ate. grabe, excited ang new lola hahaha! alas kwatro na ako ng umaga natutulog kaya hindi ako sanay gumising ng ganung oras, pero nung panahon na yun hindi na ako nakahanap ng dahilan para matulog pa. masaya kasi e!

pero later on, narealize ko, mejo sad din pala. ibig sabihin kasi nun matatagalan bago sya umuwi.. 2 years at least. =( hay.. miss ko na si ate mayen. sobra. lalo na pag nag- eemo si ninyah sakin tungkol sa mom nya, lagi ko nababanggit si ate mayen. mag iisang taon na namin syang hindi kasama.. ewan ko ba.. kulang yung ganitong klaseng saya kapag hindi sya kasama. ayan emo na naman ako haha.. basta masaya sya dun, masaya na rin kami, lalo na ngayon may pamangkin na kami yey ^_^

ano kaya ipapangalan nila? hmm..

may suggestion ka? ^^

ang mahiwagang.... envelope?

2006-09-01T04:10:00.000+08:00

naghalungkat ako ng cabinet ko ngayon. puro kalat, mga memorabilla ng high school life ko na ayoko nang isipin pa. may mga test paper na parang richter scale kasi pataas at pababa ang score >< meron pa nga akong folder na puno ng guitar tabs na dinadala ko sa school noon. kulay dilaw na yung paper at mukhang mapupunit pag hinawakan ko.

sa kasuluk-sulukan ng cabinet, may nakita akong brown envelope. unang tingin ko pa lang, alam ko na agad. dito ko nilalagay lahat ng pinapagawa sa amin ng english teacher ko noon. third year high school ako noon, at tuwang tuwa ako sa english teacher namin, si mrs. camacho. well hanggang ngayon sya pa rin yung favorite teacher ko. hindi ko makakalimutan yung mga sinabi nya sa akin, you know, you're good. you're just LAZY. oh well, tamad pa rin ako. pero favorite teacher ko pa rin sya. LOL.

oh well, eto, isang seatwork na pinagawa nya sa amin. nai-publish yata to sa newspaper namin sa journalism. walang title, hindi ko na maalala, at wala na akong balak alalahanin pa.

finely crafted on a silver sheet
wisely carved by the moonlight heat
i never thought i'd stare this long
at clouds, my hope floats along

hopes fail as the sun peeks from the east
as pain eats my heart on a daily feast
i flinch and curl as i swallow it all
you watched along as i took the fall

six-string harmony wont stop the ache
how much more do i have to take?
paid the price for truth and reality
a costly "you and i will never be"

you show your smiles more than it should
as long as mine will never would
for there are no breaks in melancholy,
i keep this secret inside of me.

i pack what's left and head on back,
before you, before i lost track
a new beginning, a risk like before
back to you.. again.. once more..

oo, third year high school pa lang ako, durog na puso ko haha. E M O.

kukurukuku, bakit kaya ganyan ang tula nya?

siguro kasi...

basted. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ehem ehem.. *cough* *cough* tagos ba?
it herts, it herts you know..

fuck love radio.

friendster.

2006-08-31T02:02:00.000+08:00

sa tagal kong hindi kinalikot yung friendster ko, ngayon ko lang napansin, sobrang emo pa ako noon, sobrang pilipit sa sakit. natawa na lang ako nung nabasa ko yung STATUS ko, it's complicated. LOL! who the hell made my life f'ing complicated? haha, nevermind. sobrang emo ng mga nakalagay dun at kailangan ko na i-edit. baka sakaling may dumaan sa page ko at makita nun na ganun pa rin ako ka-down. suicidal? lol, not me. nagsiburahan ako ng mga kasinungalingan sa friendster ko, including testimonials. yun lang. at masaya! :D binura ko na rin yung mga testi ko sa ex ko for her convenience. ang cheesy ko pala dati. nakakatawa basahin yung mga testi na once sa buhay mo eh damang dama mo habang binabasa. LOL.

Love radio.

2006-08-30T04:04:00.000+08:00

tuwing sumasakay ako ng bus, pinagdadasal ko nalang na nakapatay yung radyo. kasi panigurado, pag narinig mo yung ingay sa loob ng bus, love radio yun. sa inaraw-araw kong pagbabyahe, wala pa yatang mintis yung love radio sa tenga ko. utang na loob, ganito na ba talaga tayo ka corny?

kukurukuku, bakit kaya sya nakikinig ng love radio?

kung sasagutin mo yan kukurukuku, marami pa akong tanong sa iyo. bakit mahilig ang pinoy sa novelty songs? bakit tuwang tuwa yung mga driver sa malalaswang jokes nung babae tuwing alas singko ng hapon? bakit sa lahat ng bus na sakyan ko love radio ang pinapatugtog?

nakakainis, sa tingin ko kasi, sa lahat ng radio stations sa pilipinas, Love radio lang ang hindi gumagamit ng utak. pero in fairness, it works! kagat naman tayong ordinaryong pinoy kasi gets natin kaagad. after every roll ng sponsors, magbibigay sya ng joke na hindi nakakatawa, actually nakakairita. napakinggan mo na ba yung adlib nung female dj? ang laswa, at walang sense! tapos tatawa ng malakas yung driver.. >.< tsinelasin ko yun e.

naalala ko pa nung nandito pa si ate mayen sa pinas, asar na asar sya nung nalaman nya na nanalo yung love radio ng best radio station. para sa kanya, ito na yung epitome ng pinoy folly entertainment. nagkaroon na rin ng "brand" ang love radio sa pagpapatugtog ng mga kanta. kapag pinatugtog nila ang isang kanta, instant baduy brand. naaalala ko noon, yung kanta ng hoobastank na the reason, gustong gusto ko yun, nung pinatugtog na ng madalas sa love radio, baduy na. nakakainis. yung mga magagandang kanta, nagiging basura dahil sa station na to. sabayan mo ba naman ng kukurukuku pagkatapos eh, sinong hindi maiinis?

hanggang dito nalang. masyadong mahabang blog entry para sa isang walang kwentang radio station.

2006-08-27T23:26:00.000+08:00

kanina ko pa gusto magpost, pero hindi ko talaga mahanap yung mga tamang salita para ipakita kung ano man yung nangyari kahapon. kung tutuusin, simpleng pagkikita lang yun, pero parang mahirap ikwento kung ano yung nangyari sa loob ng limang minutong magkasama kami. ang daming thoughts na dumaan sa isip ko noon.

nagising ako ng 1pm, as usual, puyat nanaman kakagamit ng pc, iniwan kong bukas yung messenger ko, nakita ko yung IM ni liz, hey are you going to sm today? initial reaction: panic. hindi ko talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko, hindi ko pa napprint yung mosaic na ginawa ko, at wala pa akong photo paper! tapos nag text din sya, 2pm SM. patay. kakagising ko lang! gustong gusto ko pumunta, kaso parang impossible na. bahala na, basta makapunta ako, kahit late, maibigay ko lang sa kanya yung mosaic. so nagkasundo kami, nai-adjust yung time, 3pm (yehey!) nagawa ko lahat in record time. nasa SM na nga ako ng 2:35 eh! ayun, nakapag baby-z zagu pa ako bago kami magkita.

3pm. sa wakas nagkita kami ulit, after two years, nagkita na ulit yung dalawang batang nakatambay sa tennis court at nag tutugtugan. naalala ko, hindi ako nakapagsalita kaagad, nauutal, hindi ako makapagisip ng derecho, hindi ko na nga halos maintindihan yung sinabi nya eh, natameme ako. ganun pa rin yung ngiti nya. feeling ko bumalik ako sa pagka-high school ko. nakakatuwa sya, sobrang saya nya kasi noon, may hawak sya na plastic na puno ng libro, tapos kita mo sa mata nya na masaya sya. pero akala ko noon, magkakasama kami ng matagal, pero limang minuto lang, may pupuntahan pa pala sila ng ermats nya. pero sulit lahat, masaya! kung tutuusin, pwede na ako matulog pagkatapos ng pagkikita namin, buo na araw ko eh, gusto ko nalang i-garnish yung buong experience ng pagkain sa wendy's. habang kumakain ako, ka-text ko pa rin sya, sinasabi ko sa kanya na ok na ako dun sa pagkikita namin, masaya ako eh! (totoo yun!) sinabi ko sa kanya na gusto ko sya makita ulit, pero hindi kami sigurado kung kailan, basta nasisiguro ko sa sarili ko, gusto ko talagang makita sya uli. tapos sakto, paglabas ko ng wendy's nandun sya, naglalakad, at nagtetext :D nakakaaliw yung buong experience, parang video clip sa utak ko kung mag playback. sana maulit uli. ASAP.

Swerte.

2006-08-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

matagal ko na gusto ilagay sa blog to. mga isang buwan mahigit na rin nung nangyari to.

pumunta ako ng SM, bumili ng zagu, sumakay ng bus pauwi, pagdating ng noveleta, nakasabay ko yung crush ko nung high school. SWERTE!

hindi ko na nga sya makilala nun eh, ibang iba na. pagkababa lang nya ng bus saka ko naalala, dun nga pala sya bumaba nung isang beses, sabay kami umuwi. noong high school pa lang kami, crush ko na sya, nakakasama ko na sya noon, after school, tuwing break, kaso nagkatuksuhan sa barkada, napilitang umiwas. (die kevin!) pagkauwi ko, tinext ko kaagad si kia para tanungin kung ano number nya. awa ng diyos wala pang 3mins nakuha ko na kaagad, tinext ko , at nagreply! (congrats!) buti nalang, hanggang ngayon, nakakausap ko pa sya, mukha nga lang syang busy kaya hindi ko muna kinukulit.

hanggang dito na lang muna. baka mabasa nya to haha. tulog na muna ako. bye bye ^^

=*= hindi "jologs" o "baduy" para sa isang lalaki ang pagkakaroon ng CRUSH
=*= hindi nakakabawas sa pagkalalake ang pag amin ng CRUSH
=*= blog ko to. alam na.

paano nga ba tumanggi?

2006-08-24T03:33:00.000+08:00

first post, wala na kasing nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon kaya ngayon lang ako nakapagisip ng ipopost.

lately, nahihirapan akong tumanggi sa kahit anong bagay na nirerequest sa akin.. hindi ako makahanap ng alibi para sabihing hindi ko pwede gawin yung pinapagawa sa akin.. ewan ko ba, nasanay na yata sila na kahit ano ipagawa ko kahit saan ako yayain eh pumapayag ako.. ang totoo nyan, nahihirapan lang talaga ako tumanggi. kanina nga lang, pagkagaling ko sa school, dapat pupunta ako ng cainta para sa mga ka-ragnarok ko, manonood ng laban nila, semis na kasi.. kaso hindi ako nakapunta, wala na kasi akong pera, pano nagastos ko nung nagpasama yung kaklase ko sa southmall, ayoko naman talaga sumama, napagastos pa ako >.< kailangan ko na matuto tumanggi.. HELP!

-------------

kailangan ko ng P E R A

kailangan ko ng L O A D

kailangan ko ng maisusulat dito sa blog para hindi ka naman ma-bore -_-

testing

2006-08-14T03:31:00.000+08:00

woof